Monday, August 31, 2009

Where am I Heading?

The first post in a new blog seems like it should be power-packed in some way. Even if there is no one out there reading. It is part of a new beginning, and if I am writing this blog for some purpose I guess now is the time to declare it. It should be evident in the title: Considering Loss. So many of us become Christians in the same casual manner we subscribe to email updates for store sales or to our favorite magazine—or even blog. We are excited at first but there is no real commitment from our end when there is no lifestyle or even attitude change—my email inbox is always open and I am waiting to receive...if I decide I don't like something anymore I can unsubscribe or even mark as spam!

But, if that is our attitude about Christ—always waiting to receive and not putting our entire lives in submission to Him than I would submit that we are not true Christians. One cannot brush over the fact that Jesus said to follow Him we must PICK UP OUR CROSS. That is not, as Brad Buser said, to strap on our cross necklaces. A cross is heavy. It is stigmatic. It is an instrument of torture and a promise of death. So to pick that up—THERE WILL BE LOSS. And I don't think many of us consider that loss when we decide to “follow” Christ, and as a result there is no change in our lives.

I just completed 2 years in the Peace Corps in the Islamic Republic of Mauritania. Over there I was forced to consider quite often, what makes me different? And upon returning I have struggled every day trying to find some meaning in that experience. I've tried to find direction for “what I will do next.” But I've recently committed to myself that I will be living every day. I am not in some waiting period until I move into the next phase of ministry. Life is today and now and everyday. And I will be carrying my cross. This blog is a space designed to keep me accountable to that, a place to record my journey while always mindful of the fact that years ago I died to myself and my life should be a reflection of that.