Monday, November 9, 2009

Spirit-killer

I know it's been quite awhile since I've blogged anything.  There's been a lot going on lately with work and life, but nothing I felt particularly like blogging about.  Lately, however, I've been thinking a lot about fear.  Fear and our society's bizarre obsession with it!  We live in one of the safest periods in the history of time.  Mortality rates are down, life expectancy is up.  Modern medicine has more capabilities to preserve life than our ancestors could ever have imagined.  We have cell phones, 9-1-1 emergency responses, seat belts, airbags, and alarm systems.  We should feel an amazing sense of security.  And yet many people are completely dominated by fear.  America used to be "in God we trust," or "the home of the brave."  But today our societal structure has been built upon intricate networks of fear and intimidation.
Last week I sat in a new employee meeting with our company's Aflac representative.  She pitched several different insurance packages to us that could potentially offset the costs of a potential future tragedy, if we start paying monthly installments now.  There is a life insurance package (which is on top of the automatic package our company provides) which will double or triple my current "award" (1 year's salary) to Joel if I die.  There is also cancer "protection."  I can start payments now, and in the event that someday I get cancer, Aflak will help to cover my expenses (more fully than most insurances, and without a pre-existing condition clause). There is even a coverage package for rare diseases.  I can pay about $25 a month and if I come down with any number of rare diseases--including mad cow disease or West Nile virus, I'll be paid for my pains. 
The representative had a wealth of examples and stories about freak accidents and random occurences that rarely happen in life outside of Grey's Anatomy.  Stories about people falling with lanyards and cutting off fingers or children getting bizarre immune disorders.  She preyed upon our feelings of being alone and vulnerable.  She took away any faith in God or family or health or anything else, and instilled a terrifying feeling of lack of control and connection.  And several of my coworkers, desperate for that control or connection to someone that will support them through tough times are now participating in various plans.  And so it's got me wondering what has happened to our society, when our confidence passed away and fear took over. 
I spent the last 2 years of my life in Mauritania, and didn't feel afraid once.  Joel and I were the only white people for miles.  We experienced a coup d'etat.  We slept outside.  I was alone quite a bit--as a women in an environment that was very anti-women.  Our neighbors and host family were Arab and Muslim, a culture that is often quite hostile to the West.  But you can ask Joel--we weren't afraid once.
Now I'm back in the States, and I find myself obsessively locking doors.  When I'm at home alone I bolt my door-sometimes twice.  I didn't hesitate to enroll in my work's healthcare plan--that was half the reason for finding a job!  And when I walk alone at night I get freaked out quite a bit. 
So what's the difference? 
The only thing I've been able to come up with is self-reliance.  Here in the States we pride ourselves on self-reliance and being independent.  In Mauritania they have a "mashallah" attitude about everything--basically saying that life is in God's hands and there isn't much we can do about it.  They have a community focus--one that says that neighbors take care of each other and look out for one another.  People in Maal constantly told me "we have no problems here," by which they really meant no one is ever alone, and we don't let anyone come to harm under our watch.  For example: one time we heard a domestic squabble going on a few houses away.  A woman started yelling.  And in less than a minute, our entire neighborhood had convened, men descending on that household as though it was on fire!  They mediated the situation, and everything was taken care of quickly and without problem. 
What is my response to this?  As a result I've been thinking a lot about Matthew 10:28: "Do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul; rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body..."  What have we traded in this obsessive journey for self-preservation where we have stopped caring about the soul in our desire to protect the body?  In our quest for comfort and protection, we have cast aside God, neighbor, friend, and faith.  Has our increase in health care, safety measures, convenient appliances and life expectancy really made our world a better place?  In our society where we allow ourselves to be dominated by fear-mongering from the media and other influences we prevent ourselves from truly living, and from ever discovering truth.  So my challenge today is to think about your community--the structure of family, friends, co-workers and neighbors that may be providing support to you in tough times.  Think about where you are placing your trust--beware of that which can destroy your soul. 

9 comments:

David said...

I really like this post. I was thinking a similar thought when I was flying down to Houston last weekend to visit. The plane had the absolute worst turbulence I have ever experienced in a plane ride.

But I found immense peace in the verse from Philippians 1:21, "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." Paul wasn't the least bit concerned about death. If he died, he would go on to Heaven. If he didn't, he would continue to labor for Christ on earth. It's actually a win-win situation.

As one who has struggled my fair share with fear (as a kid, I was afraid of everything--especially that I would die some strange and horrible way), I'm learning to find a lot of comfort and peace in God's sovereignty (although I remain a good Wesleyan).

And I love your example from Mauritania. I think that is something the Church could really learn from. True community protects and takes care of each other.

Better to concern ourselves with those things that will destroy the soul than those things that can destroy the body. And trust God to take care of us, and as a community, take care of each other.

Joel said...

Thanks. I think one thing that I would add to the list of things you mentioned is fear related to money. That's what I struggle with...as you well know.

It's not that I'm afraid of being poor. I could be okay with being poor. I realized the other day that I'm afraid of not being able to provide -- for you, for us. But on my good days (when I'm listening to God rather than the Aflak agent) I realize that my fear shows that I have bought in to America's mandate that each man be his own island, each man be self-sufficient. God has created us to be dependent on Him, and He provides for us in many ways -- friends, family, revelations that what we think we "need" we actually just "want", etc. He doesn't want us to be self-contained. He wants us to be in relationship with Him and trust Him to provide for us.

Thanks again for this post, and I think the title is right on -- Fear is the Spirit Killer.

Joel said...

Also, your title made me think of Dune and the Bene Gesserit litany: "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration..."

Dave said...

I had a couple of thoughts while reading your post. First, I think that a lot of our society of fear comes from the Cold War. We spent 40 years arranging our society to prepare for nuclear war. The economy (military industrial complex), transportation (the interstate system), international relations. Our society built itself on fear for almost half of a century. And as for you locking your doors, 1. our crime rates are high and we're encouraged to protect ourselves by media, authorities, etc, and 2. I locked my doors in Mauritania, too.

Regarding community and looking out for one another, ours works on a macro-scale in a lot of ways. Which can be more effective, but less efficient. Your insurance, for instance. Society is currently deciding that fear like yours isn't acceptable, and is bad for society, and bad for our neighbors. So as a very large group, we're looking at health care and finding ways to take better care of this enormous community.

And finally, on a micro-scale, we still have community. Here in my hometown, population 1,000, we look out for one another. We help the elderly get to town to shop, we babysit for the neighbor. And when my little sister really was little, and disappeared, the entire town was on the streets at 8:00 pm to look for her. Everyone. We still have community, we just focus on the bad times. We need to improve, certainly, but it doesn't help to forget all the good that is around us.

Hayley said...

I feel the people gap too. And it's just wide enough to keep my head down, let fear of unknowns come in, and stop using my good sense.
But thanks for the reminder that yes, it is a spirit killer. And our spirits are part of what make us so incredible.
Dave, I'm gunna throw a community block party and inviting you to be my pep rally.

Thanks for sharing Melissa and Joel. Miss you guys.

Unknown said...

Part of me feels that fear has been alive and well and around forever. . . just not advertised or marketed as well. Do I see what you see? Absolutely, and you have captured what most people are not even aware has happened to them. It's easy to feel like community is dead unless you are part of one or hearing great stories of people locking arms against fear. But its the old story of what sells and what makes good news. That is why i nominated Ty Pennington for Nobel Peace Prize. In one show his Extreme Makeover group create more hope, peace, and goodwill, than all the news stories put together. Laugh if you want but I am over 50 and we are always right :)
Your observations are interesting coming from a "youg person" still falling in the immortal age category. It' easy to see why older folk (like myself) turn into worriers as we approach the backside of life and have accumulated more to lose (kids, careers, property, wealth, relationships) and seen so much loss (life, health, respect, safety, fortunes, jobs, friends, family. If fear is hitting home with mid 20's, wait till you hear another 15,000 or so sad, scary, horrifying stories. So tell Aflak to stick to insurance and leave the stories to our trusted night time news. . . yeah right!

Unknown said...

I have been thinking about fear a lot too. It's not so much the little things like locking my door or being careful when I chain saw. I'm scared of the future. Of how uncertain things will be for me in the next month or so because my job will end and I will be uninsured. I feel that with unemployment rates so high a lot of people are experiencing this "fear". I feel that if we come together as a community, like you said, perhaps we can eliminate some of it. Especially if we pass the this Health Care Bill. That way, unemployed people will have one less thing to worry about at the end of the day.

I enjoyed reading your passage about Mauritania. It was different living in such a tight nit community. I agree that in the States people rely on themselves. However, I have a big family and we all stick together and help each other out when things get difficult. That releases some of the stress. I don't know what I would do without them, if I were alone.

I think Dave has a point. Even with all the stories like Fort Hood running through the news we should be thankful for everything that we do have: family, friends, freedom, good health...

Elise said...

So true! Not only do we live in a fearful society, but we are also forgetful(which feeds into our fears). How often does God tell us to "fear not!" and remember Him? We are as bad as the Jews were! God delivers us from "Egypt" and we are worried about His provision for us the next day...

Fear used to be a HUGE issue for me, and God healed that in me through His word.

The first verse I taught Selah was Proverbs 18:10 "The name of the LORD is a strong tower, the righteous run to it and they are safe."

and shortly after that I taught her: "for surely oh LORD you bless the righteous, you surround them with your favor as with a shield." Psalm 5:12

and of course: 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

So if any of us find ourselves struggling with fear, my encouragement is to remember that faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

I wish there was AWANAS for adults. I think if there was some kind of adult church function where the emphasis was on memorizing scripture , the entire church body would benefit on countless levels. The problem is... how do you make it "fun" for adults?


shares anyone? ; )

Ariah said...

Great post and great thoughts. We're inundated with fear tactics.

I do think there is ample opportunity to stop some of those messages. You probably weren't expecting it from a random insurance agent, but we can filter the other news we listen to, we can avoid the television and other sources that prey on our fear.
and we can balance it with examples of community (like you shared) and begin to take practical steps toward living out that community.