Is it possible to be an environmentally conscious global citizen as well as an overwhelmed mama? I think I've found the answer:
No.
I read somewhere that mothers are the champions at harboring guilt. House is never clean enough, child is never nurtured enough, husband is never cared for enough, etc, etc. So, as a result I've decided to simplify my life and take a 30 day paper challenge.
For the next 30 days, I am using all disposable dishes. I've hidden our dishes from the menfolk and bought paper products (except for silverware--I draw the line at forks that break off while trying to eat!). I am no longer adding to the mound of recycling that piles up so high we cannot open our back door (Houston is located in the heart of oil country and therefore does not encourage recycling...wannabe green consumers have to drive to the nearest center in order to recycle!). And guess what. I am refusing to feel guilty about it! And maybe, just maybe, during the next 30 days I'll get a handle on my inferiority complex about how I'll never be as good of a mom as my own mother. And maybe I'll quit feeling guilty about spending time with my son or checking my email without having to avoid the kitchen all day long because of my guilt about the dishes that have piled up.
The earth is important, but so is my family and my mental health. I've prided myself on being "green" since college when I first learned that non-organic milk can be full of pus. But now I've realized there is a balance to be maintained. And a family living within that balance is both a happy family and a responsible family. No, I don't think living on paper products is the answer. But I do think it is ok to allow this time to help my family find that answer. And in the meantime I'm going to play with my son and not tap my foot anxiously waiting for naptime so that I can do work, because that is no way to live!
Don't worry, once I find out how to live green AND sane, I will let you all know.
2 comments:
Amen. I have started putting "play outside with Eva" on my to do lists as one of the absolutely-has-to-get-done items. For some reason that helps my brain comprehend how important it is to spend time with her and helps me not to skip that in order to get the laundry done. Which sounds ridiculous once I type it out...
Also, I am in the process of making your peppermint brownie recipe and I have to say it is one of the most fun things I have ever baked:-)
It's all about balance. But you're right-at the end of the day we need to figure out a way to honor our values (which we believe ultimately honors God) & create a nurturing, healthy environment for our family.
So, as a result, we put Samuel in disposable diapers at night & frequently when we haven't had the opportunity to get caught up on his cloth. I don't always have the time to make homemade baby food. Oh, well. He's being fed & loved & diapered.
But...on the other hand, I feel the need to reject the "family above all" mentality that I see in
Evangelical culture. I believe it should be Christ & his kingdom/mission above all.... sorry for the stream of consciousness.
But I'm there with ya, girl! Guilt-ridden is no way to live. That was the worst part of becoming a parent-to see & feel the judgment of others (especially women!). It's hard enough without all that extra garbage.
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